X-MEN, n. One of several comic book franchises in need of an explicitly introverted hero/heroine, whose superpowers would include dodging all telephone conversations, always saying no to group projects, and leaping out of tedious social functions in a single bound.
WARFARE, n. The goings-on in the introvert psyche, upon being invited to a social event.
VICTORY, n. Some days, simply achieving 30 minutes of peaceful solitude.
UNICORN, n. Mythological four-legged introvert.
TRAITOR, n. Friend who agrees to go to social event with you, and then talks to other people.
SEPTEMBER, n. Confusing month that begins with back-to-school nightmares and ends with the quiet enjoyment of fall foliage.
RAVE, n. Two introverts, a bottle of Pinot Grigio, and a Downton Abbey box set.